British Life 101: Things Britons Would Bin if They Had the Chance
(A totally unscientific but painfully accurate guide)
Let’s be honest, we Brits love a moan. It’s practically a national pastime. And while we’re very fond of a good queue and the occasional drizzle, there are a few less charming bits of British life that—given half the chance—we’d gleefully launch into the sea.
Here’s the ultimate list of things Brits would most like to get rid of, if only the Queen’s swan army would let us.
1. Potholes the Size of Paddling Pools
One minute you’re driving to Tesco, the next your car’s suspension has given up and applied for early retirement. Roads in disrepair are as British as fish and chips, but that doesn’t stop the daily grumble:
“I pay my road tax for this?!”
2.The Railways (And Other Public Transport Nightmares)
Delayed again. Cancelled with no explanation. The train’s now arriving on platform 9¾ apparently, and good luck finding a seat
3. The Dreaded TV Licence Fee
We love the BBC, we really do. But nothing quite sparks national debate like the TV licence. Is it worth it? Should we pay it? What even is live TV anymore?
Cue the annual ritual of pretending you don’t own a television when the licence letter drops through the door.
4. Being Charged to Pee
Britain: where you’re allowed to speak freely, but not urinate freely.
Train stations, service stations, and sometimes pubs will charge you for the privilege of relieving yourself. 30p for a wee? Robbery, mate.
5. Rain on Bank Holidays
A national tradition. Every time we get a day off, the heavens open.
“Oh look, it’s a three-day weekend.”
Cue monsoon conditions and BBQs under gazebos shaped like wind socks.
6. Surprise Elections and Referendums
There’s nothing quite like being told at 10pm on a Thursday that you’re now part of a major constitutional crisis. Again.
“Weren’t we just voting on something?”
“Yes, Brenda. And now we’re doing it again.”
7. The Endless Queue for NHS Appointments
We love the NHS to bits—but trying to see your GP?
Good luck. You’ll get an appointment on the 12th of Never, possibly by fax.